Is the fear of being judged holding you back from living a fulfilling life?
Are you worried about what your friends, family, coworkers, or peers think of you?
Do you avoid being your truest self because you feel you wouldn’t “fit in”?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, we need to talk.
Subconsciously, we all just to want to fit in.
It’s human nature to want to fit in. We are a herding species, we thrive around others, we crave human interaction, we connect on a deep level with other people. It’s our fear of being rejected that causes us to want to fit in.
And to an extent, fitting in is in our best interest. But if you are denying your full self, your true self, you’re not doing yourself any favors. So here are 4 ways you can stop caring what people think of you, and start living a life that YOU lovc.
1. Realize You’re being self-absorbed
This may sound a bit harsh, but hear me out. If you refuse to go after your dream job, wear certain clothes, go on certain trips or just do certain things because you are afraid that people will judge you, you’re actually being self-absorbed.
To think that everyone is so concerned about what you’re doing with your life, is to think that everyone’s number one priority is you.
I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s not the case. It’s actually quite the opposite.
Everyone is incredibly concerned about what they’re doing and about their life, that if they do think about you and what you’re doing, I can guarantee it’s only for a few moments.
You don’t constantly concern yourself with what others are doing. You are far too busy thinking about what you’re doing to concern yourself with everyone else’s problems.
The bottom line is that you are your number one priority. And that rule is the same for every other person.
You just have to realize that the amount of thought you give to a peer’s problems or lifestyle choices (probably not much) is the same amount of thought they’re giving you, maybe even less.
2. Stop Living a Life of Obligation
Ready for a truth bomb? You will never please everyone. And even if you could, would you really be pleasing yourself?
I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to really be yourself and live that life you dream of when you know that those closest to you will be unsupportive or downright appalled.
I can totally relate! I know exactly what your feeling, and guess what? Everyone feels it. What do most people do about it? They try to please the people they love by doing things they don’t, which adds up to a life of disappointment.
Here’s a disturbing statistic. The most common regret of elders as they lay on their deathbed is living a life that was expected of them instead of living a life that they truly desired.
They didn’t regret failure, or loss. They regretted living a life of obligation.
Let that sink in. They lived a life that was unfulfilling to them so that they could “please everyone”. But did they please everyone? NO!
You cant! We are all different and all unique, that’s the beauty of life. So here’s an idea:
Say ‘screw that’.
It’s better to lose money, bruise your ego, face failure, or chase your passions than lie on your deathbed and regret the life you lived.
So put aside those judgements from your friends and family. Let their judgements just roll off your back. You can rise above and find your own way.
Life a life that fulfills YOU.
3. Stop Playing the Mind Game
Another point I want to make is that all fear towards judgement is in your mind. It’s just a mind game.
To prove that point, I challenge you to judge less. Stop yourself from judging others’ choices in clothing, or jobs, or opinions.
Stop thinking that those things can tell you everything you need to know about them, good or bad.
Try giving people a break. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Release those judgements. You’ll find something profound happens.
You start caring less about what people think of you.
If you create the mindset of judging less, then you won’t feel so concerned about how others are judging you. You can beat the mind game.
4. You’ve got to Own It
So I’ll leave you with this. You’ve got to own it.
Let yourself really BE who you are. Have confidence that you’re doing it right because nobody else is more you than YOU.
Having confidence is like having a shield against judgements. If you are confident in who you are and what you do, then those judgement daggers will just deflect.
And besides, what could possibly be more liberating than really OWNING who you are.
All of this takes practice, confidence is not built over night and neither is the ability to release your own judgements.
Progress over perfection.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on all this. Let me know what you think is the best way to overcome the fear of judgement.